Grieving the loss of a loved one can bring up a whirlwind of emotions, and anger is often a surprising, but common, part of the process. If you’re feeling angry or bitter, it can be helpful to explore where these emotions are coming from and how to manage them. Finding safe ways to express and even explain your feelings can also be incredibly healing.
Here are some techniques to help you manage and release the anger that may accompany your grief.
Consider it. Is anger a substitute for more painful emotions, or does the situation warrant it? Do you feel abandoned or afraid? If so, could you get support from others or spend time thinking about and allaying your fears? It can be helpful to share your feelings in a grief support group and learn how others have dealt with similar feelings.
Express it. Set aside a safe time and place each day to defuse angry feelings. Some people are screaming in the car with the windows rolled up. Some find stress relief techniques like meditation or yoga helpful. Others find relief by hitting pillows or performing bursts of strenuous activity. Consider options for releasing anger and plan how to express it safely when it arises. Sometimes writing about situations that make you angry can help you focus on how you really feel beneath your anger.
Explain it. Tell others how short on fusion you are right now. If you know you have crossed the line, apologize. Most people will compromise.
To learn more about ways to live with your own loss and grief or help others in the same situation, read Grief and loss, a special health report from Harvard Medical School.
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